Introvert notes

Introvert notes from “The Introvert’s Way” by Sophia Dembling.

The author really go deeper in the understanding of introvert. I think society has an idea of what introvert is and people just accept the definition without thinking too much. Why not have your own definition? Let’s stop taking advice from the non-expert.

For me, an introvert person recharge their energy when they are alone. An extrovert person recharge their energy when they are with other people. It’s just a style of energy recharging. Introvert can deliver amazing public speech and extrovert can spend hours thinking about life.

See below notes.

Introvert:

• Like to watch people

• Take same time as extravert to calculate information but takes more time to translate it into action

• Slow to make decisions, have to consider and deliberate before they act

• Think carefully before they speak

• Good with prepared speech

• Highly sensitive to environmental stimulus, hyper awareness

• No correlation with: being shy, open up feelings, give presentation, ability to network,

• Most of the time, no interest in other people’s lives

• Deplete energy when too much superficial interaction

• If invest lots of energy, need a high return of satisfaction

• Deep listening ability

• Like being around people without actually interacting with them

• Selective about whom we see, when and how

• Cranky after too much interaction; gloomy after too much time alone.

• Too self-conscious. Cannot act stupid.

• Sports: hiking, biking, kayak, mountain climbing, swimming, walking, yoga, meditation

• Activities: coffee shop, reading, small dinner party, lunch with a good friend,

• Deep intimate talk

• How to become Friend: deep conversation with

• Online communication fit their style

• Hate when people try to bully or shame us into behaving in ways that are counter our nature

• Not shy, but appreciate joys of quiet

• Internally noisy

Problems:

• so hypersensitive, when we see problem we try to solve it but “it’s not our responsibility or problem”

·       Example: trying to make everyone have a good time, but it kills our energy

• Reason listening: listen too hard, information comes and we deeply process and analyze it. Problematic if it’s small talk

• Isolation: not healthy. You need to go out and reconnect.

• Rush into deep conversation too quickly. You need to do small talk to warm up the conversation.

• Long monologue if topic is interesting.

• Use introversion as an excuse to not do things we might fear instead.

• Leaning on too few people (quality): becomes needy if bother them too much

• Thinking a lot doesn’t make you deep. It depends on what you are thinking.

Mantra:

• Staying home is doing something.

• My presence is a gift, not requirement (event invitation)

• I like who I like. If I don’t like, it doesn’t mean I hate.

• Listening to boring people in not my job.

• Manage your energy for you and others

• Saying « no » is okay.

• Quiet doesn’t mean they have nothing to say. Timing and circumstances matter.

• Ignoring phone calls is okay if you call them back later.

• I know what I need better than anyone else.

• Other people’s desire for me to participate is not more important than my desire not to participate.

• Nothing wrong being an introvert

“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” - Stephen Hawking

SimpleLifeBalancing.