Love.
From all the relationship we could expose ourselves as a human being, love is the most intimate of all. Thus, something we should work on actively. Finding and nurture that life partner.
(1) Become an attractive mate: I strongly believe there are some minimum characteristics that you can actively work on that makes you a more attractive mate to be with.
Mindset:
Become the strongest version of yourself. This will attract people who share the same energy as you.
Balance lifestyle, strong mindset, healthy habits, enough free time
Know yourself well, have some hobbies, opinion on different topics
Money:
Financially stable and do not hate the way you make money (career, side hustle, etc.)
Have some savings and investments
Physical appearance:
Not fat, muscular body, clean korean oppa face, trendy hairstyle (korean perm)
non-repulsive clothing style (minimalist clothes)
no printed t-shirt, white t-shirt that fits you, black long pants, white shoes
smell good -> fragrance
Accessories -> Watch, necklace, bracelet, earrings
(2) Understand men and women relationship dynamics: Men and women are different. Some things are attractive for women and other things are repulsive. It’s good to learn about interaction between men and women. Build a strong foundation of knowledge first, then it’s way easier to engage with the opposite.
Red pill Youtube video: Gives you some ideas to lots of scenario and cases
e.g.: The rational male, Alpha Male strategies AMS, Fresh & Fit
Books recommendations:
The Rational Male by Rollo Tomasi: Understand the aggressive and tender side of a man.
Flirt 101: How to charm your way to love, friendship and success, by Michelle Lia Lewis: Teach you some concepts and techniques to improve “enjoyable” conversations.
(3) Finding Love: Proactively put yourself out there and attract women.
Tools: dating app, friends of friends, dating event, Meetup event, volunteering
Dating basics:
Number is keys. Dating is almost a sales funnel. Get matches -> filter girls who reply -> filter girls who agree to a first date -> filter girls who agree to a 2nd date.
Easy first date: Go for a walk, then a drink.
Goal -> Get to talk and know the person.
Very low commitment. Less stressful than eating. Girl can see you face and decide to go home instead of being stuck in an activities or 1h eating some food.
Less waste of time. Nice 15 mins walk can be squeeze in a tight schedule compare to 1h dinner or 1-2h activities.
Less waste of money. Men are expected to pay on first date. A free walk is less stressful on both parties.
Create a “side-by-side” situation. You and the girl look at the world vs face-to-face in restaurant.
Easy transition from walk to drink.
(4) Maintain love:
Love is an action.
5 types of love expressions: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
e.g.: Say you like her, help her with chores, anniversary gift, flower gift, organize dates, hug and kisses.
Communication is key.
We are human. We can’t read minds, but we can interpret expression of love.
Find what communication tools works best for you and the frequency.
e.g.: In-person date, texting throughout the day, love letter, shared notebook, phone calls, video calls, etc
Alone time is important.
As much as we love our partner, unfortunately, we are still human in a busy demanding society and we need alone time to get things done.
Get house chores done, let the brain rest and process the love information, plan for future fun dates, let the brain rest to find solutions to relationship problems, etc.
Need time to make money, keep body in good shape, eat healthy, keep yourself clean, keep you mind active and good healing sleep.
Need alone time to be the best version of ourselves.
Respect.
We grew up through different experience. We have different ways to perceive the world. We have different opinions. Some we agree, some we disagree.
Novelty.
Again, we are human. We can easily get bored if things are always the same. It’s good to actively try stuff you are curious about to add little sparkle in your life.
Comments:
I think finding a good mate is the ultimate goal. At the base, all we do makes us a better person which will eventually attract someone which can share life experience with you. Did the even really happen if you didn’t share it with someone?
There is not just one life partner, but different partners that fit us better at different phase in our life.
e.g.: Type of girl you like at 18 y/o is different from girls you like at 30 y/o.
Quotes:
“Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.” – Kahlil Gibran
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.”- Osho
“It’s better to experience love and loss than to have never allowed yourself to love from the beginning.” – Elliot hulse
“Relationship is not about how pretty is the boat, but how well it handle the storm.” – Prince EA
“Rather than living in the past, we need to focus on doing everything we can right now.” – Aya (1 litre of tears)
“We attract what we project. Become the type of person you want to attract.”
“Now I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger, but she ain’t messin’ with no broke niggas.” – Kanye West
“If you only do what you can do, you’ll never be better than what you are.”- shifu
“A healthy relationship is about giving, not receiving. If you need someone to “save” you from your misery, then it’s time to reassess your whole approach to dating. Fix yourself first, figure out your life and then, when you have something to give, that’s when you’re ready for something serious.”
“”Goodbye,” said the fox. “Here is my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes. . . . It’s the time that you spent on your rose that makes your rose so important. . . . People have forgotten this truth,” the fox said, “But you mustn’t forget it. You become responsible for what you’ve tamed. You’re responsible for your rose. . . .””
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
“Grown-ups love figures… When you tell them you’ve made a new friend they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies? ” Instead they demand “How old is he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make? ” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
“To grow, you need to confront what you are trying to avoid.
When that happens, you will be living a life where you are truly liberated; a life where you are no longer running or hiding from something. A life of courage and bravery. A life of truth, authenticity and honesty to everyone. A life of integrity and honesty to yourself.”
– Escapism
“You kiss lots of frog to find one prince.”
SimpleLifeBalancing.