Moving out.

As part of your desire to grow into the best version of yourself. You need a place to do it. Most likely, “the frame” you were living before doesn’t help you. It’s comfortable or maybe not, but one thing for sure, it doesn’t help you grow.

It’s like a bird locked in a cage, deep in the ocean.

How hard is it for this bird to fly?

Below is my opinions on different “move out” strategies:

I think it really depends on the type of person and how you take advantage of the situation. If you move out alone and just do the same thing you were doing before, then you will get the same results with less $$$ in your pocket. It’s all about your mindset and goals.

(1) Moving out and living alone in downtown:

Disadvantage: High cost project + Risk

  • Pay the rent alone. 40-50% of my expenses.

  • Have your own system of house chores, laundry, cooking, trash, etc.

  • If there is an accident, no one around me would notice.

  • Loneliness if not socially proactice

Advantage: Freedom and Control over my life

  • Put speaker on and not bother anyone.

  • Control noise that goes into my brain (listen to podcast vs parent voice)

  • Hair blow my hair at 7AM without others consideration. (More control for morning person)

  • No more family responsibility: less stress

  • Full Control over my schedule: wake up, sleep, go out, go back home, laundry, eat (don’t need to wait after anyone)

  • No need to report to someone where I am going and when I am coming back home.

  • No one judging me (call friends on line, wear anime shirt, sing karaoke in the house, drink beer and watch drama)

  • Creativity: build my own house (choose decoration, furniture, set-up)

  • I can take a weekend off just for myself

  • I can be sad if I want to be sad. I can be mad if I want to be mad. I can express emotion without holding back.

  • I can take the time to meditate and think about my life.

  • 5mins from school, 10mins from work, 5mins from grocery store, 6mins from gym: In the morning I can take my time, read news, exercises, meditate

  • Full control over your life (time, eat, people meet); it helps to meet your goals

  • Unexpectedly meet friends when grocery shopping

  • Attend events at unusual time.

  • After event, quickly get home and relax.

  • Invite people to chill at home.

  • I can go out at night meet friends and bring friends home to study

  • Watched anime/ Sing KTV at 7:15AM before work

  • I don’t fear being myself at 100%

  • My weekend is very flexible. I can go to unplanned event

  • I can wish strangers a good evening

  • I can have spontaneous ramen for dinner

  • It’s like an adventure. I am putting myself against different stress sources. The adult life. The more I am expose to it, the more I can build tools to face it.

  • I can wake up early and see the sunrise

  • Easier dating

  • I can wake up and sleep whenever I want (no noise issues)

  • I can randomly bump into a friend, and become friend again.

  • I can turn my house into a “flipping” e-commerce warehouse.

“When you live with your parents, you give up freedom of mind during your “at home” time,
but you don’t need to worry about money.
When you move out, you have freedom of mind during your free time,
but the rest of the day is used working for someone to pay your bills.”

(2) Alone vs roommate: What if you can distant yourself from your parents, live in downtown, but still save on the rent and be influenced by an inspirational person.

Advantages: Compare to living alone.

  • Save half the rent, which is 50% of your expense.

  • Good roommate can bring you additional value in life.

    • Life learning lesson, companionship

    • Expand social network

    • Daily small talk -> Keeps your heart away from darkness (depression and loneliness)

Disadvantages: Compare to living alone.

  • Wait until next task: washroom, kitchen, get ready to go out, etc

  • Additional waste: extra dishes, garbage, cleaning

  • House chores for other people

  • Create a situation of management and agreement: « do this, do that. »

  • Passive aggressive interaction

  • House rules

  • Each decisions needs approval

  • Constantly affect and influence by the roommate: emotion, stress, their decisions

  • Problem of noise: less freedom, affect sleep schedule, hair blow hair at 7AM,

  • Responsibility to be social

  • Report when you go out and in

  • Report + Approval when you invite friends

  • Less freedom and privacy = less being yourself = less creativity = less growth

  • More challenging to bring a girl over or masturbate in peace

  • Can’t walk naked in the house; “pressure of looking socially normal”

  • Can’t remove your shirt after work or let washroom door open

  • Being interrupted in your thoughts or projects

  • Justify your reaction or action all the time

(3) Travelling for an extended amount of time (3 weeks+)

  • Break you away from your day-to-day responsibilities (work, family, relationships, etc).

  • Allow yourself to relax and try new experience. Re-discover a “new” you or reinforce what you already like.

  • Doing things you enjoy in a new country is amazing. (e.g.: Coffee, bouldering, hiking, try new food, massage, etc)

(4) Study abroad experience (3-4months): 

  • One of the most exciting experience in my entire life. If it wasn’t for this experience, I’d probably be the same as any average people living in my city. Very boring meaningless existence. But, everything changed when you are in the “right frame”.

  • Being in a new country, speaking a new language. No one knows you. It’s the perfect environment to recreate yourself. Naturally, your old habits will kick in. You can choose to keep them or change them in to healthier habits. Allow yourself a chance to try new things and be a “new” you.

(5) Moving to a different city for work (6 months+):

  • Really a different pace from school life. You really have to take the time to be socially active. After work, go out and explore the new city. Experience the normal working life.

  • Advantage of staying longer period in same location. Re-invent yourself with a longer time horizon.

    • e.g.: Join community, easier dating for long-term relationship, recurrent activities, start a new sport, build career, etc.

  • Money to spend on new hobbies, food and experience. Travel in nearby city/ country.

SimpleLifeBalancing.

Previous
Previous

Empty your cup

Next
Next

Analogy: Society’s chains